Time

I’ve been reading a few blogs these past few weeks as inspiration to get back into it myself. Blogging is one of these things that I know I’d enjoy and get a lot out of if only I could get my bum in gear and sit down and just do it. I’ve always got an excuse – that I’m too busy, that it’s more important to cook tea/wash dishes/do laundry (delete as boringly applicable). It was the same story with my brief dalliance with knitting. Earlier this year I decided I’d love to learn to knit. I saw people creating wonderful things on Facebook and Twitter and I thought it would be nice to have a crafty hobby. I attended five beginners’ classes and got taught the basis. My boyfriend even bought me a beautiful Kath Kidson knitting bag for Valentines Day. And now? That bag sits down the side of my sofa with approximately a quarter of a scarf I started knitting months ago. More and more, I’m feeling that I don’t make enough time for me. The hints are everywhere, that knitting bag, the pile of unread books on my bedside table, the fact that I have some serious roots coming in, that my caterpillar eyebrows are way overdue a threading and the fact that I buy loads of lovely nail polishes but very rarely have painted nails. Or maybe that my last entry here was a year ago. Possibly two.

My daily life can be broken down thusly – I get up at 7, leave at 8 for work, get back home again around 5.15. Mondays and Thursdays I have Roller Derby practice and am out of the house from 7 – 10. The two hours I have when I get home are spent cooking tea and tidying up and getting things ready for work the next day knowing that I’ll be too tired to do so when I get home. The rest of the days, I either manage to go to the gym and go home and veg out in front of the TV feeling totally wiped or I stay in, cook a big meal, eat that, feel stuffed and usually watch TV and have a cuddle with Stu (my boyfriend and I are big into box sets – we’re currently ploughing our way through Friday Night Lights) before doing more chores.

The point is that I don’t really do much with my free time. Or at least nothing creative or even ‘just because’ On weekends I have a big lie in, then Saturdays I’m normally out, visiting friends, going to roller derby bouts or just looking round the shops. Every other Sunday I visit my parents. Stu and I live an hour away from our families so we use this time to go visit and catch up and by the time we’ve done that and driven home it’s about 8pm and again, it’s mostly housework for the rest of the evening because I won’t have had time to do them over the weekend.

I feel like that I can’t sit down and blog or knit when I feel like my house is untidy or when I know I’ll need to prepare a meal. I’ve become preoccupied with spending my spare time doing something ‘worthy’ such as going to the gym. I’m a big believer in eating fresh home cooked food and the preparation and cooking of that normally takes a big chunk of time every evening. I also take a fresh lunch to work and again, that takes time.

So whilst I’m running round trying to keep my house in an acceptable state and cook nice healthy meals, I’m neglecting to just indulge in some ‘me time’. I’ve thought of some possible solutions. Perhaps getting up an hour earlier to make lunch for that day and prep veg etc for the evenings meal. It’ll save me cooking two meals in the evening and something simple like cutting out the prep will save time in the evening. I could set aside one ‘pamper’ night, choose an easy dinner to make, use a few hours to attend to my brows, paint the nails, dye my hair, take the time to have nice bath, buy myself a naughty dessert (I’m trying to eat healthy but we all need cake in our life!) and just do whatever I feel. I have a friend who’s also trying to learn to knit so we could organise knitting evenings and we can bounce off each others enthusiasm rather than just summoning my own.

When I think about it, there are pockets of time that I could use, it’s just a case of realising not all my spare time needs to be spent in some way that’s constructive or beneficial to my body, my house or my relationship. It shouldn’t be that every time I have five minutes free I’m looking round making a mental note of what needs doing and feeling guilty if I don’t do it. It’s important sometimes to sit still and have a guilt free night off, hell, more than a night, six days a week shouldn’t be pure slog. I’m going to be making a real effort and seeing what works. I suppose if this blog suddenly picks up you’ll know I’m doing something right!

Wish me luck!

xx